Dear 21st Century Dad, I’m a single dad. My thirteen-year old daughter is a real looker. I have the impression she doesn’t even realize it, but I’m not sure. Even in winter clothing, she’s a physical knockout. I’m like the TV dad who sees every male aged fourteen to fifty as a predator. And with good reason, I look in the eyes of some of these guys and they don’t even care she’s holding my hand as we walk into the grocery store. I’m not looking forward to summertime. What should I do?
Dear Mountain Shepherd,
Sounds like we are uncomfortable with the sexuality of our times, and maybe even our own! There are so many good-looking girls and boys out there. By nature, youth is beautiful, healthy and vibrant. Support her in her growth toward adulthood. Rather than feeling paranoia, do the dad stuff. Play sports with her. Play Checkers, chess and Scrabble with her. Be the host in the background for her girl parties.
It maybe worthwhile to look at the music videos she watches. These video stars are always mentors, and sometimes near fatal attractions. Ask her if we can sit in on some music video programs. Learn about her preferences for style of music. Female? Hip/hop? Pop? Country? Have a conversation. Talk about the way the men treat the women, and the way the women treat the men. Talk about the extreme sexual gestures like the hands over the crotch, the thrust forward bosoms and the gyrating pelvises. What kind of music do they play at the school dances?
Be careful. Antagonism toward Elvis Presley made him a big star. Antagonism never works. Humour deflates sexuality unless it’s wrapped in an animal house tourniquet.
There are those who say that our bodies are the temples of God. Encourage our daughter to be physically expressive and to be knowledgeable about the intentions of her physical expression.
Key into YouTube:
1. ScreamFree Parenting:Raising Girls
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