Question 8. YouTube and our daughter

Dear 21st Century Dad, my girlfriend phoned me yesterday. She overheard her daughter telling all her friends to check out her video on YouTube. With two of her friends, fully dressed fortunately, they were dancing and lip syncing the words to a Christina Aguilera pop song. I read some of the Comments and Responses. These girls are 15 and 16. I can’t believe they would expose themselves to the world. The Comments and Responses had to be written by some very sick puppies. My daughter was one of the exhibitionists. I can’t believe she could be so stupid. She says she hasn’t done anything wrong. She says, millions of people use YouTube.

Dear Living with a YouTube Child,

Our daughter is fifteen. If we are discussing internet dangers, several organizations such as the RCMP, the BC Ministry of Education and the Canadian Library Association have posted web site information on how to protect our child. Google Safety Net@2Learn.ca - Safety Sites. Software protection for concerned parents include packages such as Cyber Sitter and Net Nanny. We can ask our local software retailers and schools for suggestions on appropriate information filters. Our concern is not internet danger to children; it is our concern with our daughter’s interaction with modern technology.

If our daughter is uploading videos to YouTube, it seems given her age and her sophistication in using computers, she already knows through programs at school, the potential dangers of the internet to children. Our daughter is a 21st century karaoke artist.

It would have been helpful if she had have prewarned us about her global pretentions to fame.

What our daughter says about YouTube is correct. Millions of people are watching and creating video segments. The difference between singing on the school stage to the parents and singing to the planet is one of numbers, and how that number alters our perceptions. Many of our children would love to be Christina Aguilera. By lip syncing Christina’s lyrics, and accompanied by our best friends for support, we can almost be her, if only until the video gets shuffled to the back of the play list.

Let’s have a conversation with her about the Comments and Responses she has garnered. Let’s discuss some of the comments that are ugly. Our conversation with her can include our own reactions, “When I read this person’s words, they make me feel...” What happens to you when you read those words?” We may learn much more about how her mind thinks. She may be unaffected by negative and hurtful commentaries, as she automatically passes over them. Let’s find out exactly what she thinks before we come to hasty conclusions.

Could the congratulatory commentaries open a doorway to discussing her strengths and what she would like to do as a young adult? Her decision to sing and dance on an international stage is exciting to her. Can it be to us as well? Could we be looking at a future entertainer? It takes great courage to stand in front of a video camera knowing that the planet is watching. We could be looking at a great opportunity to interact positively with our daughter. We could use this opportunity to enroll her in singing and dancing classes or a public speaking course. Introduce her to a musical instrument. Ask her to join the debating society at school.

Part of the learning shtick for singers is dealing with that part of the audience that can be unkind. These Comments and Responses may be a great learning vehicle for both our daughter and us.

As a zany teaching lesson, we could ask her to advise us on how to upload a video. We can tell her we want to be on YouTobe. The suggestion of that video event might encourage our daughter to inspire a different kind of thinking.
Mom and Dad on YouTube? If she is not totally disgusted, why not suggest a parent and daughter routine? Showbiz has always loved family entertainment groups. We could really jostle her infatuation with public attention with that suggestion!

Key into YouTube:
1. Christina Aguilera – Candyman
2.. Be prepared for this key-in. There are dozens of uploads that vary between a couple of teen girls dancing and having fun to porno sites. Does our daughter realize her upload may be lumped in with the porno sites?