Question 26. Family Conferencing

Dear 21st Century Dad, rather than let issues accumulate my husband and I decided to initiate a once a week family conference to settle disputes. Talk about squawking, the way my two teens whine, we would think we were inviting a couple of chickens to dinner. Forget about settling disputes, we can’t even get them to the table without causing a free-for-all. Do you know any United Nations negotiators that can help out?

Dear Colonel Peacock,
A good negotiator? Not likely being your kids must belong to the Teamsters! Let’s look at another option that could be a lot more fun and constructive at the same time.

A family conference can celebrate the family. This is a great time to boast individual and group accomplishments. “I learned a new song on the guitar. I lost another pound this week. I found the strength to tell this boy at school to keep his distance.” After the celebration, let’s talk about any issues that have come up and confer to resolve them. Present a prewritten agreement and follow up date. Finally, plan a family activity together.

An old cliché that still works is, “The family that plays together stays together.”

Let’s get crafty and keep them guessing about what can occur at our family conferences. Boost attendance occasionally with a home party consultant or hire one of their friends, who will get to eat free. Or be jazzy do it ourselves, and take the savings.

We can sacrifice our health conscious imperatives to accomplish our objectives. Load up on every mega trans fat snack that we can stuff into a grocery cart. Do it better than our most famous fast food emporiums. Yummy!

Beware. In case we haven’t listened to the health warnings our governments are harping on about, manufacturers use trans fats to make pie crusts, some margarines, crackers, cookies, snack foods, and other foods made with or fried in partially hydrogenated oils. Double yummy, there’s lot’s of choice.

Unlike other fats, the majority of trans fat is formed when food manufacturers turn liquid oils into solid fats like shortening and hard margarine. Picture that oil congealing and turning into a kind of concrete that sticks to the inside of the body’s blood vessels. Picture Mike Myer’s Fat Bastard as a teenager. Lovely! Encourage them to eat. After a few bags of that stuff, offer them French fries and maybe some ice cream.

Really pour on the educational pep talk about food and lifestyles while we are stuffing their faces with the cheese dipped French fries. They will so greasy, and disgusted with what they’ve put into their mouths, they will agree to anything.

Especially the written agreement and follow up date that we miraculously produce from under the dinner plates. Then upon successful resolution, offer them the pumpkin pie and ice cream.


Google:
1. Parent Manual Session 6: Family Meetings-CAMH

Key into YouTube:
1. A Family Meeting Gone Bad