Dear 21st Century Dad, I found a condom in my son’s drawer. He’s only 14. I had no idea. I didn’t even think he liked girls yet. What should I say to him?
Dear My Head Is In The Cupboard,
How much do we know about his sexual habits? Most children keep their parents in the dark, and a lot of parents prefer it that way. Use some intuition. If the boy has been strutting about in an odd manner and has been macho talking with his buddies, we can guess that he has joined the adult game early.
If our son is contravening our family’s religious agreements or specific family and cultural values, there can be a rupture of trust and worse, the foundations of faith. We can sit down with the boy and explore how his peer social pressures and his physical maturation can lead to difficulties.
Knowledge about sex gives teenagers the power to make informed choices and possibly the ability to say no.
If we feel overwhelmed by the sexual precocity of our children, know that physicians and psychologists are as well. Scientists theorize that variables such as the use of DDT, the leakage of toxic chemicals from plastics, weight gain, the ingestion of hormones and pharmaceuticals in our food, and a hyper sexualized media are changing the onset of sexual maturity in our youth.
Johnny will experience ejaculation earlier than you ever did. In girls, American studies have indicated that the average age of menarche, or first menstruation, had fallen dramatically (from 17 to 13) between the middle of the 19th Century to the middle of the 20th Century. We are 21st Century parents with 21st Century children. While some of our older methods of raising children will remain, we have to face up to the fact that our children are physically a lot different than we were.
We can inform ourselves by calling The Sex Sense Line (in British Columbia
1 800 739 7367).
Google:
1. The Canadian Federation for Sexual Health (for a number near you for information on sexuality, birth control, relationships, AIDS, sexually transmitted infections, pregnancy options and anything to do with sexuality.)
3. Taking The Pledge , Ed Bradley Reports On Abstinence-Only Programs ...
Key into YouTube:
1. How to put on a condom Correctly
2. Abstinence - 100% Protection
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